Have you noticed? , those people around who have a "if they are separated" with their parents often live a particularly free and easy life? They will not be anxious because of their parents' expectations, nor will they be bothered by the trivial matters of their original family, but it is easier for them to find their own rhythm of life. This seems to contradict what we often say about "filial piety" and "intimacy". But the psychologists' research has come to a surprising conclusion: a healthy parent-child relationship requires a proper sense of distance.

1. Excessive intimacy, but easy to lose yourself

When many people grow up, they are surrounded by the "meticulous" love of their parents - from what clothes to wear, to what job to choose and who to marry, their parents have to intervene. This kind of close bondage, which seems to be caring, may actually make children lose the ability to think and make decisions independently.

1. Excessive parental intervention will weaken children's autonomy

When a person lives under the arrangement of his parents for a long time, he will habitually rely on the opinions of others, and he will not even know what he really wants. Those who keep a certain distance from their parents are more likely to develop a clear sense of self.

2. Emotional "symbiosis" can easily lead to psychological burden

Some parents will regard their children as a continuation of their own lives, and even project their own anxieties and regrets onto their children. For example, "You must get into a good university, or I will fail in life." This kind of emotional over-binding will put heavy psychological pressure on the child.

2. Appropriate distance makes the relationship healthier

Psychologists generally agree that a healthy parent-child relationship is not "sticking together", but "independent and supportive". Those who have a "lukewarm" relationship with their parents tend to know how to draw boundaries.

1. Reduce emotional internal friction

If every time you talk to your parents triggers arguments or feelings of guilt, you might as well reduce the frequency of contact. It's not apathy, it's self-preservation. Proper distancing avoids meaningless emotional exertion and allows people to focus on what really matters.

2. It is more conducive to the establishment of an equal relationship

When a child becomes an adult, it is difficult for both parties to talk on an equal footing if they are still treated as a "child in need of discipline" by their parents. Maintaining a certain psychological distance can make parents gradually realize that their children have grown up and they have the right to decide their own lives.

3. Why are these people happier?

The study found that those who were able to form "moderately intimate" relationships with their parents in adulthood generally had higher levels of mental health. They don't waver in their choices because of their parents' opinions, and they don't blame themselves for not meeting their parents' expectations.

1. Be better at self-acceptance

People who are more distant from their parents tend to learn to "take responsibility for themselves" earlier. They understand that their parents' expectations are their parents' and their lives are their own. This clear sense of boundaries makes it easier for them to accept their true selves.

2. Less likely to fall into family conflicts

Family chores are often the bulk of emotional drain. Those who keep a proper distance from their parents will not get involved in endless family disputes and will naturally have more energy to manage their own lives.

4. How to establish a healthy parent-child distance?

1. Learn to refuse gently but firmly

If your parents' demands make you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to carry them, but you don't have to fight fiercely either. You can express your position in a way that says, "I understand your thoughts, but I have my own considerations."

2. Set a reasonable contact frequency

You don't need to talk on the phone every day, and you don't have to report everything. Find a rhythm that is comfortable for both parties, such as a weekly video or the occasional sharing of life updates.

3. Put your attention back on yourself

Your happiness should not be defined by your parents. Pay more attention to your own needs, cultivate an independent life circle and hobbies, and you will find yourself more and more relaxed.

True affection is not bondage, but respect

Many people mistakenly think that "filial piety" means unconditional obedience to parents, but psychologists point out that healthy love should include respect and space. Those who are "not close" to their parents but are happy precisely because they have found a balance - both grateful for their parents' efforts and not letting the relationship swallow up themselves.

If you've ever felt tired from family relationships, try adjusting your distance. Remember, the protagonist of your life is yourself, not the "script" that your parents expect. When you learn to maintain yourself in family relationships, you will find that happiness comes more easily.

Tips: The medical science knowledge in the content is for reference only, does not constitute a medication guideline, does not serve as a basis for diagnosis, do not do it yourself without medical qualifications, if you feel unwell, please go to the hospital in time.