On a quiet weekend afternoon, warm sunlight streams through the spacious living room, adding a touch of lazy vibe to this moment of calm.
The coffee table is littered with children's toys, and unfinished homework is spread out haphazardly, silently telling the innocent and slightly naughty daily life of children.
And in the kitchen, the aroma is overflowing, and friends are busy preparing a delicious lunch.
From time to time, the living room reverberates with the cheerful laughter of children, which is the purest melody of childhood. Suddenly, a childish voice broke the harmony: "Mommy, I don't want to do my homework, I want to play games!" I saw my friend stop what he was doing, gently wipe the sweat from his forehead, and walk lightly to the living room.
She said in a voice full of tenderness and patience, "Xiaojie, finish your homework first and then go play, okay?" ”
Despite the reluctance written on the child's face, under the expectant gaze of his mother, he obediently returned to his desk and continued to "fight" with his homework.
Every parent expects their child to succeed in school and achieve great results.
However, children have their own aspirations and yearn for a free and easy place to play. This subtle contradiction makes many parents feel lost and helpless on the road to parenting.
Speaking of Xiaojie from a friend's family, he is a good boy who excels in learning.
But even so, under his mother's high demands, he often felt great pressure, and even resisted studying for a while. Friends took great pains for Xiaojie's future, she flipped through one parenting book after another, and participated in one parenting lecture after another.
After that, she decisively signed up for various extracurricular tutoring classes for Xiaojie, just to make her child stand out in the future competition.
However, as the academic burden increased, the smile on Xiaojie's face gradually disappeared, and his grades began to decline.
Fortunately, my friend was a sensible person, and she quickly realized the seriousness of the problem.
It turns out that excessive stress and unrealistic expectations will only make children lose enthusiasm and motivation for learning. So, she began to try to let go of too high expectations and learn to respect Xiaojie's personality and pace of growth.
She wants her children to find the best balance between learning and playing.
Fortunately, as time went by, Xiaojie's learning attitude really improved significantly, and his grades also steadily improved.
All this made my friend deeply experience:
Children's growth needs to be accompanied by our respect and understanding, rather than simple and rough coercion and control.
For example, there is a boy who always likes to "debate" a few words with the teacher in class, and even creates some small troubles from time to time to attract attention.
When he felt the love and support of his teachers, he began to slowly change himself and finally got on the right track.
There are also examples like Zhong Shengming, who was regarded as a "poor student" in high school, but never gave up on his dreams. Earned the first pot of gold in his life through game leveling, showing extraordinary entrepreneurial talent.
Even if he failed the college entrance examination, he chose to repeat his studies with the encouragement of his class teacher and was successfully admitted to the university.
Today, he has made significant achievements in the field of e-commerce. These stories tell us that "bad students" are not really bad, they just need more respect, understanding, and proper guidance.
The essence of education is to discover the uniqueness of each child so that they can thrive with respect and love.
Every child's growth trajectory is unique, just like no two snowflakes are the same.
Psychologists call this the "social clock" phenomenon, in which people measure their lives by a uniform standard, as if an invisible "clock" is ticking. Parents often worry about their children falling behind and urge them to complete the "right" tasks on time.
But in reality, this pressure can be too heavy for the child.
Remember that hit movie "Learning Dad"?
It presents this kind of "chicken baby" on the big screen every day. The parents in the film will do whatever it takes to get their children into high-quality schools: buying school district houses and signing up for specialty classes......
However, the result is that parents are becoming more and more anxious, and children are becoming more and more averse to learning.
What exactly is education pursuing? The answer is given at the end of the movie: slow raising children is the most important thing. When parents no longer force their children to learn this and that, and no longer compete for learning speed, children can achieve better results: some children become student representatives to give speeches on stage; Some exams get an A+.
It can be seen that children who do not rush often have more stamina in learning!
As parents, if we feel that we are about to lose patience with our children, we may wish to recall how we taught them to walk and talk in the first place. For example, when he was a child, he failed repeatedly, until he finally called out "Daddy" and "Mommy".
Therefore, instead of giving children those short-term possessions, it is better to teach them skills that will last a lifetime.
For example, I use the time I spend my holidays attending tutorial classes to bring my children close to nature and experience the wonder and richness of life. Or replace the intense tutoring time with parent-child activities, so that children can participate in household chores and make crafts, which not only cultivates independence but also strengthens parent-child relationship.
More importantly, stop telling your child that "if you don't study well, you're done", you should discover more about their strengths.
In short, not everyone can become famous at a young age, and if children can't achieve the results they are proud of, let's respect their future. Maybe the child will walk very slowly.
But it doesn't matter, as long as they can take care of themselves, it is the greatest comfort to their parents.
Note: The names mentioned in this article have been changed