We often hear this description from parents of second children:

"My brother is always more strategic in the face of challenges and never gets discouraged easily, but my brother is always irritable."

"My younger brother never gives up easily, and he always fights for it firmly in the face of challenges, but my brother starts crying when he encounters problems."

"My sister is always bolder than my sister, and she dares to try no matter what she does, and she doesn't have stage fright at all."

"My sister has been very good at talking since she was a child, she knows how to make adults happy, and she is really a little emotional intelligence master."

Most parents with a second child may have such feelings: the same parents, different babies. On the surface, siblings may be similar in appearance, but their personalities and behaviors are very different.

What's even more interesting is that when parents get together to share their parenting experiences, there are always some "resonances" that can't help but be found:

The boss tends to be more docile and considerate, like a little angel who makes people feel at ease; The second child is more lively, naughty, and even occasionally a headache for parents.

老大顯得憨厚、實在，有時還帶點“楞”；而老二則機靈、敏捷，更善於察言觀色，懂得利用環境討好父母。

The boss is straightforward, honest, and sometimes "open-mouthed" when he speaks; But the second child knows more about proportion, knows how to use words to make people happy, and is good at getting closer.

These characteristics often lead parents to draw a simple conclusion: "The second child seems to be smarter than the eldest child!" ”

However, is the dick really smarter than the eldest? Why does this phenomenon seem so common? Perhaps the answer lies not in the "smartness" itself, but in the subtleties of family roles, education styles, and upbringing.

The study found

The boss's "IQ performance" is higher

In fact, the superiority of the eldest son in "IQ performance" has been verified by some psychological studies.

心理學家彼得·克裡斯滕森和托爾·比耶爾凱德爾對超過24萬名徵召入伍的兄弟樣本數據進行分析后發現，長子的平均智商比第二個孩子高約3分，比第三個孩子高約4分。

This finding provides a scientific basis for the "intellectual superiority of the eldest son", and further supports the intellectual dilution hypothesis proposed by psychologist Robert Zarongtz, that is, as the number of children in the family increases, family resources, parental attention, and cognitive stimulation received by children will gradually be diluted, resulting in children born later may be slightly inferior to the eldest son or eldest daughter in intelligence.

In other words, the first child in the family usually receives more attention, educational resources, and psychological support, while with the birth of the second and third children, the parents' energy and resources are scattered, resulting in the later child may not receive the same resources and stimulation as the eldest son in the early stages of intellectual development. In addition, the eldest son and eldest daughter may get more exercise in language expression, problem solving, social interaction, etc., due to more family responsibilities, which can help improve their cognitive ability and intelligence test performance.

The intellectual dilution hypothesis provides us with an interesting perspective on the impact that birth order may have on a child's intellectual performance. It is important to emphasize, however, that the "intellectual performance" that the intelligence dilution hypothesis focuses on, i.e., scores on standardized intelligence tests, academic achievement, and other measures of cognitive ability, does not mean that birth order determines a person's potential intelligence or cognitive ability, nor does it mean that children born later are forever at a disadvantage.

Peter Christensen, after further research, found that if the eldest son and eldest daughter died, the second son and second daughter (the second born child) changed their "position" in the family and became the new "eldest son and eldest daughter", and their IQ performance also increased slightly. For example, it turns out that the IQ score of the second son and second daughter is 107, and when the eldest son and eldest daughter die, the second son and second daughter become the "boss" of the family, and their IQ score may rise slightly to 0, 0, or even higher.

This small change in IQ is not only due to children taking on more responsibilities in the family, but also to the fact that they are being asked to demonstrate greater independence and leadership in their new family roles. In fact, although the magnitude of this IQ change is usually smaller, it may be enough to affect a child's cognitive abilities and the formation of self-perception in some cases.

Why do you think the second child is more "smart"?

Because the eldest is born early, he often occupies some "natural" advantages for a period of time, such as physical strength, ability leadership, and status in the family. If the second child wants to overtake in corners, he must find another way to find his own competitive advantage. Thankfully, while the eldest has more resource advantages, the second has a unique environmental advantage.

1. Follow behind to pick up the advantage of experience points

The second child has lived in an environment with a boss since he was born, and has the natural conditions for "observation and learning". The eldest is responsible for charging in front, and the second can pick up "experience points" in the back.

For example, when the eldest learns to ride a bike for the first time, he may fall down many times, and parents may feel anxious, constantly encouraging, or even criticizing. The second child can see how the eldest overcomes these difficulties, learns the skills of cycling and the expectations of his parents. In this way, the second child tends to be more confident when he learns to ride on his own, and can avoid some of the setbacks that the eldest has experienced.

This process of "picking up experience points" through observation and learning allows the second child to deal with problems in many ways in a more mature and efficient way. They don't need to go through a lot of "first" groping like the boss, but can prepare in advance through observation and learning.

Because of this, the second child is often more flexible and intelligent in some areas, and can even break through the experience limitations of the boss and form his own unique advantages. This advantage is not only reflected in skills, but also in aspects such as emotional management, problem solving, and social skills, allowing the second child to be able to navigate in different environments.

2. The advantage of more flexible parenting for parents

The eldest is often the first "vanguard" in the family to accept the rules of society. Because of their lack of experience and not knowing what they are about to face, parents will be more cautious and anxious when raising their elders; By the time the second child is the second child, he is a year old and double mature, although the personalities and needs of the two children are different, but the parents have accumulated experience in the eldest and know how to deal with various problems in the process of their children's growth.

Therefore, when raising the second child, the parents' mentality has become more mature, and they know how to relax, and the way they deal with problems is more handy, and the education method adopted for the second child will be correspondingly more flexible.

This is evident in a number of ways. For example, when the eldest gets sick for the first time, parents may be very nervous and repeatedly confirm whether to see a doctor and whether to take the right treatment. And when the second child is sick, parents may be able to be calmer and know which symptoms to pay attention to and which ones to wait.

The accumulation of this experience makes the second child feel more stable and secure in the family environment. This kind of parental "proficiency" virtually provides a more optimized growth environment for the second child, so that the second child can cultivate independent thinking, emotional regulation and problem-solving skills under higher autonomy.

3. The advantage of hand-in-hand teaching by little teachers

The eldest often takes on the role of "teaching" the younger siblings. While many times, this "teaching" isn't particularly formal, such as "instigating" younger siblings to beg for snacks from their parents or mess with them, there is also a positive side to this interaction. In fact, the eldest often develops leadership and problem-solving skills in the process of teaching younger siblings. Peter Christensen argues that it is this "teaching and learning" that explains why firstborn sons and eldest daughters perform better on IQ tests.

At the same time, the second son and the second daughter can also benefit from this "teaching" process. Although younger, they were exposed early to problem-solving strategies and ways to cope with family challenges, and thus quickly "jumped out" of the limitations of being young and inexperienced.

By observing and imitating the behavior of the boss, the second child can learn many life skills and ways of thinking at an early age, and gradually develop more flexible thinking and adaptability. In some ways, the second son and the second daughter may show greater innovation and problem-solving skills than the first, so that they can "grow out" in the family and in life.

conclusion

"Intellectual performance" is not the only measure of a person's "intelligence", nor is it the only key to "success". Many times, success depends more on how one responds to challenges, how one innovates to solve problems, and how one collaborates and communicates with others. There is no absolute standard for being smart, and every child is unique and has different talents and potentials. Whether it is the eldest or the second, they all have their own unique growth paths and advantages.

Different family environments and upbringing experiences create different "smart" performances in each child's life. Therefore, success does not depend solely on intellectual superiority, but more on how individuals play to their strengths, overcome challenges, and realize their self-worth.

(Author: Su Jing, National Level 2 Psychological Counselor, Review: Zhang Xin, Associate Professor, School of Psychology and Cognitive Science, Peking University)

(Popular Science China WeChat Official Account)