In the past ten years, every April, Gu Shaoqiang has always had to face a frequent question: Do you regret it?

2015年4月13日，35歲的顧少強遞交了辭職申請：世界那麼大，我想去看看。這十個字，成為無數人心中“情懷”的象徵。此後十年，大眾對“詩與遠方”的期待漲落如潮汐，當現實如嶙峋礁石般裸露，在悔不悔的反覆追問中，藏著對顧少強更深的探尋：你是否過上了你想要的生活？你活成想要的樣子了嗎？

In 2016 years, on the first anniversary of the birth of "the most sentimental resignation letter in the world", in Gu Shaoqiang's record, the peaceful days passed day by day, "There are better things waiting for us ahead, and the days are long."

40 years and 0 months, Gu Shaoqiang recalled two important changes in her life, what made her most satisfied was not the "runaway" five years ago, but at the age of 0, she started early in the morning and changed her life model, she wrote: "Nothing is more important than you being able to control your life, and this control is something that no one can interfere with, and it is a powerful force from the heart." ”

In 4 years and 0 months, Gu Shaoqiang woke up at half past five in the morning as usual, then read books, exercised, sent her daughter to school, and then started a public welfare live broadcast, continuing her work in the field of adolescent psychological counseling, answering questions for anxious parents, and sometimes, she still needs to answer all kinds of doubts from viewers in the live broadcast room: Is it divorced? Debted? Do you regret it?

Once again, Gu Shaoqiang gave an answer that has never wavered in the past ten years - no regrets.

"I don't like to stand on the street and see life at the end of the alley"

In 11 years, Gu Shaoqiang has been a psychology teacher in Henan Experimental Middle School for 0 years, and in a psychology class, she asked each student to write a letter to themselves two years later. I have been teaching this course for several years, and I am already familiar with each link, but that time Gu Shaoqiang suddenly had a thought, what kind of person will he become after the time is relaxed to twenty years? When you retire, your whole life will be over. "The work in the school is very good, the teaching is both theoretical and practical, and what I have learned can be verified by the children, and I can apply what I have learned immediately, which makes me very happy", but the 9-to-5 and day-to-day life makes her tired, "I don't like to stand on the street and see the life at the end of the alley at a glance." ”

After class, Gu Shaoqiang sat at his desk and wrote down ten words: The world is so big, I want to see it. Then he resigned and left his original life. She always remembered that the sun was shining on her face through the gaps in the leaves, and she felt more freedom than she had ever felt before: "From now on, I want to do whatever I want, where I want to go, and I love whoever I want." ”

The resignation letter quickly became popular on the Internet, and the media called the school to ask about the authenticity, and the school leaders were not surprised - this is what Gu Shaoqiang will do. Such an "out of line" thing in the eyes of the outside world is the norm in her life.

In Henan Provincial Experimental Middle School, Gu Shaoqiang promotes "toilet culture". She hangs bags in each pit in the women's toilet, hangs the rope and clamps the paper, and updates the excerpted stories every week, and the students can squat down to read, and they can also inscribe the feelings after viewing, so that the male students shouted, "You can't patronize the women's toilet, and the male classmates also need it."

“我的朋友說，老顧就算你那天不離開學校，你改天也會離開的。我是一個不願被框住的人，即使我在當老師，每個階段我都要找一件自己喜歡的事情去做。”顧少強提到，有段時間下班后她就去酒吧當歌手，從晚上8點一直唱到夜裡12點，那個時候嗓子好，她一首接一首地唱王菲的歌。

當時三千塊的工資，顧少強捨得拿出來給班級辦心理學活動，又捨得每個月花1000元資助希望工程的孩子。臨到要去“看世界”時，她身上只有11000元，帶著這點積蓄，遞上辭職申請三天后，她就到了成都，隨後又去了重慶、杭州、紹興等地，並在幾個古鎮中旅居，為了省錢會去住8人間的青旅，在客棧裡做義工或是在當地駐唱。

"My decision to quit was a split second, and as long as I could accept the worst, then it was over." Gu Shaoqiang mentioned that what she has in this matter is not courage, but the confidence to face life, "I bear hardships everywhere, I can quickly mingle with others, and I can live anywhere, so I dare to keep moving forward." ”

"The life I want is at the top of the list"

In 10 years and 0 months, half a year after "running away", Gu Shaoqiang married his partner Yu Fu and jointly ran the "Far Return" inn in Jiezi Ancient Town, Sichuan. This town meets all Gu Shaoqiang's expectations: there are mountains and rivers, the people are simple, you can buy fresh melons and fruits when you go out, so she is willing to stay, open an inn to meet all kinds of people, "I think this is also a way to see the world, I didn't have any friends when I first arrived in Sichuan, and now there are a lot of people who resonate at the same frequency, even if I leave, they will send me things for three days and two days."

However, this kind of life does not conform to some people's romantic imagination of Gu Shaoqiang's "just go". In the eyes of the public, Gu Shaoqiang, who resolutely resigned from his job as a stable teacher and left a resignation letter of "the world is so big, I want to see it", seems destined to be on the road forever, constantly pursuing new scenery and unknown adventures. When she chooses to stop and settle down in a quiet town to run a cozy inn, some people who were originally full of expectations for her are disappointed, and even feel that she has "betrayed" her former self.

Such a voice has been densely permeated in the past ten years, accompanied by Gu Shaoqiang's every choice: in 2021 years, her daughter was born and named Xiaoyuer; In 0, because her mother was old and did not adapt to the climate of Chengdu, she returned to Zhengzhou with her mother and daughter; Now that she has started a live broadcast, she continues to work in the field of family education and psychology that she loves, and when she gives parents who are anxious about their children's early love and addiction to the Internet, she has to take time to answer questions and refute rumors from time to time.

"In the live broadcast room, some people came in and asked, are you divorced? The inn lost money, didn't it? I heard that you only have three dollars left in your account? I said you send me a private message, leave a phone and I'll call you, I'll tell you whatever you want to ask, let me finish talking about the child today. After being stared at by the outside world for ten years, Gu Shaoqiang still responded calmly: The inn is still open, the marriage is not divorced, and he is living well.

Including the question of live broadcasting, Gu Shaoqiang said bluntly, "I haven't brought goods so far, but I don't reject it, if there is really a day when I come out to sell things, everyone can pick up cheap, and I can have more income, then I have no reason to refuse." I only refuse to do things that are harmful to my children and society. When she first became popular, she turned down a million-dollar endorsement from a game company because, as a teacher, she couldn't "stand in front of the screen and tell her children that the game is so fun."

A letter of resignation has been circulating on the Internet so far, which is different from the content of the heated discussion ten years ago, and now, the red letter "Henan Experimental Middle School Letterhead" carried by the letter has also been added to the discussion. Some netizens regretted that the weight of this line of red letters is not light: behind it is "thousands of troops crossing the single-plank bridge", a position that everyone is fiercely competitive, and this position means a decent working environment and a stable income.

"I don't hate being a teacher, but I feel like being a teacher in school limits the fulfillment of many of my dreams." In fact, in the past ten years, Gu Shaoqiang has not left the track of family education and psychological counseling, and has been engaged in the psychology career she loves, doing offline counseling, or participating in youth training camps. She explained that at the beginning, she also had to take on administrative positions, and she had to participate in the military training of four waves of students during the summer vacation alone, but in fact, there was not a long vacation.

"Everyone has an important order of things in life, for me, some things are more important than a stable job, the life I want, my dreams, my family, my children, freedom, happiness." Gu Shaoqiang said.

"The world I want to see is not just landscapes"

After going around for ten years, and now back in Zhengzhou, has Gu Shaoqiang seen the world?

"How can one person see the whole world, even in Zhengzhou, I can't say that I have seen every place. It's impossible to read it all, but it's something I've been particularly willing to do all my life, and I'll probably still be walking away when I'm old. "When I arrived at a place, I saw the landscape, and I left after taking photos, such a punch-in trip was not what Gu Shaoqiang wanted.

She is accustomed to walking unhurriedly, staying in any place she likes, blending in with local life and becoming friends with the locals, "When I first arrived, I stayed in their inn temporarily, and the next day, the landlord generously waived my rent, and on the third day, I was able to have a few hot meals along the way, and on the fourth day, I was already a member of the store, busy before and after." I'm willing to take my time to get to know the locals and listen to their stories about the land. In my opinion, measuring the world with footsteps is just a way to explore, and the spiritual world is enriched is the ultimate goal of seeing the world. ”

Before he resigned, he only had one day off on the weekend, but when Gu Shaoqiang learned that there was a Yue Opera performance at the National Center for the Performing Arts, he immediately bought air tickets with his mother and sister and went to Beijing to watch. After watching the door of the National Center for the Performing Arts, standing on Chang'an Street, a family of Yue Opera fans was so excited, "My mother said that I couldn't go back to the hotel, and I was panicked when I went back, so we took a taxi directly to Houhai to drink, and chatted about what we saw the most touching while drinking, and to this day our family is still in this atmosphere." ”

Later, he opened an inn, and Gu Shaoqiang became a comfortable boss step by step from a novice, and he didn't know how many toilets he brushed and how many sheets he changed, which was no different from the life she imagined: this is the life of ordinary people, there are poems and distances, as well as firewood, rice, oil and salt.

One day when she didn't have an order, she suddenly wanted to go to Dujiangyan, which is 40 minutes' drive from the town, to watch a movie, and when she went out, she met a guest who wanted to stay at the hotel, and said "It's not open today" and just closed the door and left.

I can't remember what movie she watched that day, but the excitement on the road and the interest of being satisfied have remained in her heart. In the new uncertain life, life seems to be a channel that can be jumped at any time, and every moment she is doing what she likes, being with the person she likes, for Gu Shaoqiang, this is happy enough.

Therefore, in the past ten years, in interviews large and small, Gu Shaoqiang's frustrated side has rarely been seen. Even if running the inn is hard, she finds pleasure in it. For example, her life skills have improved rapidly over the years, and now she can repair everything at home except circuits, and she is happy because she has acquired new abilities, "I feel that I can do it again". Another example is watching the Yue opera "Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai", after watching it, she cried so much that she sat on the steps of the theater and couldn't walk.

But in real life, Gu Shaoqiang rarely sheds tears, "I have a stable core, and it is better to think about how to solve the problem if I have time to cry."

"I want to see the world as much as I can"

A friend once asked Gu Shaoqiang: The world is so big, what you wrote, do I want to see it, or do I want to go and see it?

In Gu Shaoqiang's view, the difference between one word and Italy is different: "If I must be because I am lacking, it seems that there is a sense of responsibility and urgency that forces me to complete it, and I think it means that when I have money, leisure, and mood, I will move forward, which will not become a task for me." Even though this sentence itself is full of pride and ambition, Gu Shaoqiang always thinks that he is looking up at the world as a small existence, rather than looking down on the world.

The world is so big, I want to see it. This phrase has been popular for ten years, some people envy the courage in it, some question the impulse inside, and more people see it as a poetic rebellion against ordinary life. Some people were motivated to "run away" as well, with different endings.

Occasionally, Gu Shaoqiang will feel that this sentence is "toxic", if a person does not have a clear understanding and blindly follows, when the enthusiasm is exhausted, things will turn from a poetic distance into an embarrassing escape. "If you can provoke deep thought from a book, a flower, and get the strength to improve your life, you don't need to travel far. If you feel like a frog at the bottom of a well, and the air in front of you is already thin, you should move forward. She explained that over the years, she has been looking at the world she should see at a pace she likes.

In the first year of work, Gu Shaoqiang would put on a backpack during the holidays, and spent most of the money saved for a semester to travel around the country.

After the resignation letter became popular all over the Internet, Gu Shaoqiang was worried about being "watched", so he deliberately wore a mask and sunglasses, and later found that he thought too much, and the containment incident did not happen, so he began to wander around happily.

It's just that the phone keeps ringing, and I pick up one, "What kind of leader of the island country invited me to talk about the tourism industry of our country, and I said that I can manage this matter?" ”

又接起一個，“說是贊助我去旅行，不會管我做什麼，只要說仨字，沒錢了，銀行卡就會多出一串數位。我說不用了。”當時顧少強正在重慶，滿心想著去磁器口的一家雞雜店，擔心去晚了沒位置。“對方問我是不是官二代、富二代，這種好事你為什麼不要，我說我媽就是普通員工，我家也沒什麼非富即貴的人，我辭職時身上就一萬多塊錢，你覺得我在跟你開玩笑嗎？”對方“啪”地把電話掛了。正好不耽誤她吃雞雜，40塊錢一大鍋，她能就著吃四碗米飯。

When he walked to Phoenix Ancient Town, Gu Shaoqiang sang at night, helped people sell bracelets during the day, and stayed for twenty or thirty days. When the weather was particularly hot, she jumped into the Tuojiang River next to her wearing a T-shirt and shorts, and after going ashore, she twisted her clothes, and her body was wet and dripping, and she walked on the stone road, facing tourists with suitcases and sportswear.

On the morning of 16/0, Gu Shaoqiang conducted a live broadcast as usual to sort out the common problems of adolescent children for parents, such as why children have campus adjustment disorders, why there is fake school boredom, etc., patiently and gently.

Recently, Gu Shaoqiang also estimated that the Central Academy of Fine Arts would hold a graduation exhibition, and planned to take time off for Xiaoyu in the next two months to go to Beijing to see the exhibition together. Over the years, she has never stopped looking at the world, traveled to many provinces across the country, and has more "travel partners" after having a daughter.

Ten years later, Gu Shaoqiang recalled the situation when he wrote his resignation. Originally, I wanted to write, "Don't do it, go on a trip", but in fact, I have no complaints about this job, and I want to write thank you for the beloved leader who has cultivated her for many years, and I can't write it with her personality.

She remembered reading Yu Qiuyu's "The Long River of Frost and Cold" when she was 18 years old, which wrote: "When two ants met, they just touched each other's tentacles and crawled in opposite directions." After crawling for a long time, I suddenly felt regretful that in such a vast time and space, such a small size of the same kind met unexpectedly, but we didn't even hug each other. At that moment, she suddenly had inspiration, the world is so vast, the two small bodies occasionally rubbed shoulders, but they didn't even touch each other's tentacles, how difficult, and what a pity, so I wrote this sentence: The world is so big, I want to see it.

In the next ten years, Gu Shaoqiang went to see the world she wanted to see, found her way between mountains and rivers, and pasted a corner of this planet with her short life. In fact, there is another sentence in this book: what season to see what scenery, what season to enjoy what flowers, this is complete and natural.

Text: Xie Xiaowan

Photo provided by the interviewee