When you go to work.

A friend suddenly receives a call from the child.

Puzzled, he asked:"Son, isn't it time for class?"

The child replied:

"I wake up late in the morning, so I just don't go to class."

I don't know when the children in the second year of junior high school began to "mess up", as long as they don't want to go to school, the children will find all kinds of excuses not to go to school.

In fact, my friend knows that the child wants to play with his mobile phone at home.

When I was in elementary school, my child's grades were stable in the top five of the class, and I still had a smile on my child's face when I talked about my child's friends.

After the child enters junior high school, he will only sigh when he talks about his children's friends.

Why is this happening?

In the words of a friend: "After the child is rotten, I know the way to abolish junior high school students,It's just two words of connivance!”

01

Those misunderstood "freedoms"

Before entering junior high school.

The child's grades are good, and his friends are very doting on the child.

Talk about children's education.

Friends always used to say, "The most important thing is for children to be free and happy." ”

But junior high school is different from elementary school.

As a junior high school student, you not only need to learn specific knowledge, but also develop good habits.

The formation of habits requires children to go through the process from "heterogeneity" to "self-discipline".

Professor Li Meijin said:

"What adolescent children need is not freedom, but a runway with guardrails."

If the child walks into the campus of junior high school, and the parents still let the child "grow freely", then this kind of parenting is indulgence, and it will only let the child "grow wantonly" without scruples.

Children want to play with mobile phones, parents don't care.

Children make friends promiscuously, and parents also think that children have the freedom to make friends.

Over time, children will become unpruned trees, and it will be difficult for them to become "towering" materials, and they will even develop many bad habits.

02

3 pitfalls of "pampering parenting".

There's no denying that:

Every parent loves their children deeply.

However, junior high school students' cognition is often limited, and it is inevitable that they will make wrong judgments.

In this case.

Parents need timely guidance to help children get out of misunderstandings.

If parents are indifferent and let their children continue to "develop", it is really easy to abolish a child.

The three years of junior high school are a critical period for children's growth.

Parents' "indulgent education" usually exposes children to the following pitfalls:

(1) Striping time management

Allow your child to set his or her own schedule, and as a result, your child will play with his phone day and night.

(2) In lieu of liability

If the child does not complete the homework, the parents will take responsibility for themselves, which will only raise the child who is full of inertia.

(3) Blurring the boundaries of the rules

Can you play a little more on the weekend? Left unchecked, the child will play until 2 a.m. every day.

It's like boiling a frog in warm water.

The connivance of parents did not happen suddenly, but lost the original intention of parenting in the step by step compromise.

03

A few key points to rebuild the rule

Has your child's performance slipped?

Holding your mobile phone every day, unwilling to touch your homework book?

If your child is in this situation, parents should put away the "indulgence" and participate in the formation of their children's habits in time.

As a parent, keep in mind that:

The age of about 14 years old is precisely the time when children are the most plastic.

By rebuilding the rules, parents can help their children get out of the misunderstandings; So, how do you do that?

(1) Parents put down their mobile phones and set an example.

When children come home from school, parents don't play with their phones.

Parents who may wish to learn from Wu Yishu put away their mobile phones and create a learning family to read and learn with their children.

(2) Enhance children's cognition and make them sensible.

Why are children playful?

Parents don't care, it is easy for children to develop the habit of "good and bad work", put aside homework and play with mobile phones.

In response to this situation, parents should not only play a good role model, but also let their children understand the meaning of reading and learning and improve their children's cognition through some celebrity cases and even personal life experiences.

(3) Set the necessary rules to change from other discipline to self-discipline.

It is natural for children to love to play, but blindly playing will hinder their growth.

As a parent, you need to set rules to guide your child to combine work and rest. For example, make an agreement with your child that you can play with your phone for a while after completing your homework, or take your child to participate in other activities.

04

Write at the end

Kazuo Inamori said:

“縱容如水，能載舟亦能覆舟。 ”

Parents and friends, please remember:

No child will choose to fall on their own initiative, and they would rather have someone to help guide them on the right path.

Education is not a beast, let alone a herding of sheep.

Those seemingly "ruthless" rules are actually to install a navigator for children.

And the "connivance" of parents gives children freedom on the surface, but in fact they will become ropes that bind children.

In your opinion, isn't that so?