Dale Carnegie once said that about 85% of a person's success depends on knowledge and skills, and the other 0% on communication – the ability to express one's own opinions and inspire the enthusiasm of others. Indeed, people who are good communicators tend to be respected, loved, and embraced by people.

So, what kind of communication style makes people feel comfortable and contributes to success?

01 Praise the deeds rather than the people

For example, if the person is a chef, never say "You're such an amazing chef". He knew in his heart that there were more chefs than him. But if you tell him that you eat at his restaurant half the week, that's a very clever compliment.

2 Expressions of compliments through third parties

As the saying goes, "Don't speak ill of people behind your back". But saying good things about others behind your back is actually twice the result with half the effort, and hearing praise about yourself from a third person will be more realistic and convincing.

3 Be polite and say it just right

Polite words are meant to show your respect and gratitude, so do so in moderation.

If the other party hears your praise indirectly through someone else, it is even more surprising than if you tell me directly. Conversely, if you are criticizing the other person, don't tell the other person through a third party so as not to add fuel to the fire.

People have done something for you, and you just say thank you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the trouble for you. As for Huai Cai, please give me more advice. This kind of polite words that lack emotion can be avoided.

4 In the face of compliments, just say thank you.

When people are complimented, most people say "thank you!". Or they'll laugh it off. Instead of that, it's better to accept it and say thank you directly to the other person. Sometimes, when someone compliments us on our clothes or something, if you say, "It's just a bargain!" Instead, it will embarrass the other person.

5 Have the grace to appreciate your competitors

When your opponent or someone you hate is praised, don't rush to say: but... Even if you don't agree with the other person, you have to say: yes, he is trying. Show off your elegance

6 Criticism also depends on the relationship

Even if you are well-intentioned, the other party may not be able to understand or even misunderstand your good intentions. Unless you have some foundation of friendship or trust with the other person, don't criticize them randomly.

7 Criticism can also be pleasant

A more acceptable way to say is, "I have something to say about you..: "I have some thoughts about you... Maybe you can listen to it."

8 Timing is important

Never criticize others on Monday morning, almost most people experience symptoms of the Monday blues. Don't go to work on Friday before going to work, so as not to spoil the mood of the other person's weekend rest.

9 Caution Cases

Don't criticize your friends or colleagues in front of outsiders, just say these things in private and behind closed doors.

10 Also provide recommendations

In addition to criticism, positive suggestions for improvement should be made so that your criticism can be more convincing.

11 to avoid wrong answers

For example. No, it should be ......, and in that case it looks like you're deliberately looking for trouble. In addition, we often say: I've heard ...... and it feels like you're hearing the news, which is inappropriate.

12 Don't answer that you're right

It's a bad statement. When the other party hears this answer, it is inevitable that they will think. You know what you're asking? So I just choked and said: I know!

13 Change useless mantras

Everyone has a habitual mantra, but it's easy to turn off. For example: "You know what? You know what I mean, do you know? , basically ......, to tell the truth....

14 Remove unnecessary noise

Some people are accustomed to adding words such as "ah" at the end of each sentence, such as "that means", "of course", etc., which will appear undignified and unstable in more formal occasions.

15 Don't ask what the other company's company does?

You meet someone at an event who introduces himself to work for a company. Don't ask: what does your company do? This event may be organized by their company, and if you don't know, it's embarrassing. Don't say: You know what? I heard that your company is doing a great job! Because the other party's performance may have fallen by 30% in this quarter. What position do you hold in the company? If you don't know the other person's occupation, don't ask, because there is a chance that he is not employed.

16 Don't ask people you don't know why?

If we don't know enough about the other person, ask them why? Sometimes there are accusations and personal attacks. For example, why did you do that, why did you make that decision, these questions should be avoided.

17 Don't think that everyone knows you

When you meet someone you've met before but don't know very well, never say, "Do you remember me?" In case they don't remember, it's embarrassing. The best thing to do is to introduce yourself first: "Hello, I'm ×××, it's nice to see you again." "

18 Refusal is not rude

When eating, if the host recommends that you eat something that you don't want to eat, you can say that. "I'm sorry, I can't eat this dish, but I'll eat more..." Make the other person feel that you really like and appreciate the food they prepare. If you're full, you can say, "These dishes are so delicious, if I'm not full, I'd love to eat more." "

19 Don't act like you're better than the other person.

When chatting socially, if someone says he's just been to New York for a week, don't say last a month, that would ruin the conversation. It's best to share your feelings and love for New York along with the other person's words.

20 Don't correct other people's mistakes

Don't be too timid to correct someone's pronunciation, grammar, or facts, as it will not only embarrass the other person, but will also make you appear to be very performative.

21 If you don't understand, don't pretend to understand

If you don't understand the topic of the conversation, say calmly: "I don't know about this issue". People won't continue to embarrass you. If you don't understand and pretend to understand, you're more likely to say the wrong thing.

1 Master the 0 second rule

After listening to someone's conversation, pausing for a second before answering means that you have been listening carefully, and if you answer right away, it will make people feel that you have been waiting to interrupt the other person at any time.

23 Obedient and does not speak

When you're listening to a person, you're only hearing what he knows and is willing to tell you. In addition to listening, we must also observe. How does this person behave? What does he do? How he spends his time and money.

24 Choose the right time

When you have something to discuss with a colleague or boss, choose the right time based on the importance of the issue. If it's a private matter, don't bother the other person while he's thinking about it. If you don't know when the other person will be available, you might as well write to him first.

25 smiles and refuses to answer personal questions

If someone asks you a personal question that you don't want to answer or that makes you uncomfortable, you can smile and say, "I can't answer this question." This will not only not embarrass the other party, but also keep your bottom line.

26 round-the-clock riback

In many social situations, drinking is always unavoidable. Don't just say, "I don't drink." This will ruin everyone's interest. It's better to humorously say, "I'm better at pouring wine for everyone." "

27 Say your name first

If you forget the other person's name, just use it as a formal occasion to introduce your name to the other party, or take out a business card, and the other party will also report your name and business card, eliminating the dilemma of not being able to call the other party's name.

28 Don't be a spokesperson for gossip

When a group of people talk about someone's gossip or rumors, don't just go along with it, because if you say it, it will reach the ears of the person involved. The best thing to do is not to take a stand, just say, "I don't know what part of you said." "

29 gives the order to leave

If you think it's time to end the conversation or send the other person off, but the person doesn't seem to want to get up and leave, say, "I'm sorry, I have to make a phone call, it might take a while...... Or, "Thank you very much for being here today." ...". You can also casually glance at your watch and let the other person know it's time to go.

30 Make the other person feel important

If you ask your elders for help, you can say, "Because I trust you, I want to ask you for advice...... "Make the other person feel respected.

31 directly describes the current situation

When you disagree with a subordinate, don't criticize it directly, but explain where the disagreement is.

32 Seeking solutions

If the employee is not behaving well, ask him what he can do to solve the problem instead of taking a threatening attitude.

33 offer to help

If you can't solve the problem all at once, don't say "don't bother me with this kind of thing", but tell him that I know someone who can help you solve it! If he doesn't know, you can tell him and he can help you out.

34 Speak in an equal tone

The supervisor must never say, "I have 10 years of experience, you listen to me". A better way to say it is, "I've used this before, and it works, do you want to try it?"