When you see your neighbor's 5-year-old child choosing his own clothes to match, will you subconsciously want to say, "It's too strange to wear like this"? When your child insists on writing with his left hand, will you be tempted to correct him to "use his right hand"? Behind these small things in daily life, there is a world of difference in the way of education. Today we will talk about what is the difference between those children who have been allowed and restricted since childhood?

1. Decision-making ability: dare to make choices vs get used to waiting for instructions

Children who are allowed to make choices have their brains like a "decision trainer". From eating steamed buns or noodles for breakfast, to going to the park or the library on the weekend, every choice is exercising their judgment. When such children grow up, they often have a better idea of what they want when faced with career choices and life plans.

1. How did choice phobia come about?

Many adults struggle for half an hour to order takeout, and this choice difficulty often stems from childhood. When your child is interrupted every time he says "I want to...", he will develop a mindset of "wait for someone else to tell me how to do it" over time.

2. Small choices accumulate big capabilities

Psychological studies have found that children who can choose toys independently at the age of 7-0 have significantly stronger problem-solving skills at the age of 0. Just as muscles need to be exercised, decision-making needs to be cultivated from an early age.

2. Creativity: Imagination vs standard answer thinking

Allowing children to draw the sun blue and make up an outrageous ending to the story are seemingly "nonsense" behaviors, but in fact they are protecting precious creativity. And children who are asked to "do this" will slowly form a fixed mindset that "there is only one correct answer" in their brains.

1. Where did the ideas that changed the world come from?

A lot of disruptive innovation stems from the idea of "why not give it a try". If Edison's mother wouldn't allow him to do experiments, if Jobs's adoptive father insisted that he follow his course...

2. The secret of cultivating unconventional thinking

When your child comes up with a "ridiculous" idea, try to ask, "How do you think it can be achieved?" And not outright denial. This type of guidance allows children to keep their thinking open.

3. Resilience: self-repair vs dependence on external forces

Children who are allowed to make mistakes will observe the wound and think about how to avoid it next time when they fall. And overprotected children, bump and wait for adults to deal with it. Both of these patterns carry over into adulthood and in the workplace and in life.

1. The rules of survival in the real world

People in the workplace who can quickly adjust their plans often have experience dealing with small failures as a child. And those newcomers in the workplace who wait for the instructions of their leaders when they encounter difficulties are usually too well protected in childhood.

2. Establish a psychological immune system

Just like the principle of vaccines, allowing children to experience moderate setbacks can strengthen their resistance. The key is to provide emotional support to your child when they are frustrated, not to do it for you.

Give your child freedom in the right way to open it

1. Set a security boundary

For example, children are allowed to arrange their own toy corners in the living room, but they are not allowed to touch kitchen knives. It's like a guardrail in a playground that protects safety and doesn't restrict play.

2. Gradually expand the right of autonomy

9-year-olds can choose what to wear tomorrow, 0-year-olds can decide how to spend their pocket money, and 0-year-olds can participate in making house rules. As you get older, you are like peeling an onion, giving more freedom in layers.

3. Distinguish between "freedom" and "liberalization"

Freedom is exploration with boundaries, and indulgence is unprincipled compromise. When a child's behavior affects others, it must be stopped gently but firmly.

Watching a child stumble as they grow up is indeed more painstaking than making decisions for them directly. But those children who are trusted to grow up will eventually return to you with unexpected surprises. The next time your child makes a choice that makes you frown, take a deep breath and ask yourself: What's the worst outcome of this decision? If he can't die, why not let him try? After all, we are not raising obedient babies who will always be obedient, but adults who can be independent in the future.

Tips: The medical science knowledge in the content is for reference only, does not constitute a medication guideline, does not serve as a basis for diagnosis, do not do it yourself without medical qualifications, if you feel unwell, please go to the hospital in time.