Recently, there have been parents in the background who have left a message to ask, is the child "hit the evil"? What tests are needed?

The reason is this, Sissi is 3 years old this year, and when her mother was coaxing her to sleep, Sissi said "good night, Monna" behind her mother. scared my mother out of a cold sweat, because there were only two people in the house, she and Xixi, is it really like the old man said, children can see things that adults can't see?

In fact, this is not a child who can see "gui", and the "Mona" in Xixi's mouth is her "imaginary friend".

1. "Imaginary friends" are common

Not only Sissy, but many children have imaginary friends. When soliciting opinions in the WeChat group, a mother said that when she found that when her child was eating, she would put an empty pair of dishes and chopsticks, saying that it was for his friends. Even though the whole family was there, it was still creepy.

As early as 63 years, some scholars pointed out that the probability of young children having imaginary friends is about 0%. In the thirties and forties of the last century, the results of the survey of scholars of child studies were 0% and 0% respectively.

In recent years, the field of child psychology and education in China has also begun to conduct follow-up research on imaginary friends, and some scholars have found that 6.0% of preschool children have imaginary friends. It mostly exists in children aged 0~0 years.

If parents pay attention, they will find that many cartoons will describe children's imaginary friends, such as Susie's imaginary friend "Lion Leo" in "Peppa Pig", and Bing Bong of the girl Riley in "Mind Squad".

2. There are many benefits for children to have imaginary friends

Imaginary friends are common, and moms and dads don't have to worry about their children not being able to distinguish between reality and illusion. Imaginary friends have many wonderful effects:

Adapting children to role reversalsMany children often imitate the words of adults when talking to their imaginary friends, such as, Mona, you can't throw toys everywhere, you have to learn to clean up yourself.

When they play together, the child often takes on the role of a big brother or big sister to take care of his "friends". This lays the foundation for children to adapt to the transition between different roles in the future, and to a certain extent, children will learn to share.

Children who have imaginary friends are mostly only children, and when their parents can't take care of them, they will have imaginary friends to accompany him, play with him, and give him comfort. Let the child's negative emotions have a place to express, and it will not cause adverse consequences because of blind suppression.

Relieves Fear and AnxietyWhen a mother criticizes a child for not eating or putting away toys, the child will pass on these emotions to an imaginary friend because of the fear. He would imitate his mother's tone, "You can't stop eating vegetables, and my mother said that you can only grow taller by eating vegetables."

Promote cognitive developmentChildren will give imaginary friends a variety of names and images, which is undoubtedly not a challenge to children's imagination and creativity.

3. How should parents deal with it?

As I said in the previous part, many animations have imaginary friends that describe children, and the practices of adults in the animation are worth learning from parents. Let's take a look at how the Paige family treats Susie's imaginary friend Leo!

Susie introduces Paige to her "new friend" Leo, who doesn't say she can't see this friend and instead plays with him.

While eating the fruitcake, Paige takes the initiative to suggest to Mother Pig that Susie has an imaginary friend Leo, and prepares a plate for him and invites him to eat cake together. Mother Pig cooperates and asks Susie if Leo is okay with the fruit cake.

Papa Pig compares Leo to a very special friend, calling Leo a king and complimenting him on his long mane. When they jump into the mud pit, Daddy Pig doesn't forget to remind Susie, "Are you sure Leo can jump in the mud without boots?" "I also gave Leo a pair of small boots.

Accepting a child's imaginary friendWhen a child proposes an imaginary friend, don't break his imagination, which may seem ridiculous to adults, but for the child, this person is his "real" friend.

Although they know that this friend is imaginary, parents should just maintain the principle of "seeing through and not telling".

Avoid labeling your child, and don't label your child as "disobedient" or "unbehaved", which will cause your child to think that he is the "bad child". If you don't get the affirmation of your parents in reality, your child will fall deeper and deeper into the imaginary world.

Don't call a child with an imaginary friend "sick" and make the child think that the existence of an imaginary friend is abnormal.

Give your child enough care and attention, and reflect on your own education through your child's interaction with imaginary friends. In general, if a child lacks something in real life, he will put these hopes on his imaginary friends.

Give your child more company, understand your child's heart, and help your child stay away from imaginary friends as soon as possible.

4. If these situations arise, parents should start intervening with their child's imaginary friends

If your child tries to cover up his mistakes with an imaginary friend, Mom and Dad should tell him, "I understand you, and blaming your friend for your mistakes will make you less burdensome." But it's not right to lie, if you tell the truth to your parents, we won't be angry, we still love you. ”

The child's imaginary friends start crowding out the time between real friend games. At this time, parents must observe and ask what causes the child's reluctance to play with real friends, whether it is bullied or has psychological problems such as low self-esteem.

The child is overly dependent on "imaginary friends". If the child encounters something and only tells his imaginary friend that he does not like to communicate with his parents, parents should start to reflect on whether they have not paid enough attention to their children.

Proofread by Zhuang Wu