I often hear a saying: "How cool is the life of self-discipline?" ”

This sentence is not only applicable to us adults, but also to children.

Because self-discipline is a super internal driving force. It doesn't need us to follow the child's butt every day, so that the child is willing to do it and achieve the goal.

The child has 3 major signs, indicating that he is a highly self-disciplined person, and it is easy to succeed in everything he does in the future.

One:3 is a big sign that the child is self-disciplined

If the child has the following 3 signs, it means that he is very self-disciplined, and we can steal the fun.

(1) Be able to wait patiently and delay gratification

Harvard University, in order to study "delayed gratification", once did a "Experiments on heating and cooling systems"。

They found that there are two decision-making systems in the human brain:

The "thermal system" is responsible for quick reactions, such as immediately seizing the temptation in front of you (eating delicious candy right away).

The "cold system" is responsible for rational analysis, such as weighing the long-term gains and losses before making a decision.

In the experiment, the researchers gave the children a card with a very tasty ice cream drawn on it. They ask the children to stare at the cards while the children are divided into groups.

The first group of children was asked to imagine the "taste and pleasure" of ice cream (activating the "heat system" in the brain).

The second group of children was asked to imagine the "shape and temperature" of ice cream (activating the "cold system") in the brain.

It was found that children who focused on "shape and temperature" were more likely to wait rather than eat ice cream right away.

That is, a highly disciplined child, who is usually good at activating his "cold system", helps resist immediate temptations and focuses on long-term goals.

For example, after school, they will take the initiative to finish their homework first, and then have fun.

Another example is when faced with snacks, they don't control their greed, thinking "I'm about to eat, I'd better eat after eating".

If a child can control himself and postpone gratification, it means that his brain has learned to switch between the "hot system" and the "cold system".

This will not only help your child not to act impulsively, but also weigh the immediate happiness with the future gains.

With this ability, children will be able to excel in their studies, work and life in the future.

(2) Have a plan and complete it on time

The "Goal Setting Theory" states that clear goals and execution plans are the foundation of self-disciplined behavior.

And self-disciplined children can often show this in their daily lives"Set Goals - Action Completion"capacity.

For example, when he comes back from school, he doesn't need you to stare at it at all, he has a plan: first do the Chinese, then complete the math, then spend 10 minutes reading English, and finally review tomorrow's homework, and it's done!

Or he will do complex tasks step by step, rather than doing them all at once.

Having a plan in mind means that the child has a clear sense of direction and execution.

This ability will make them more competitive in the face of long-term goals.

(3) Reflection

Self-discipline is not just about controlling impulses, it also involves actively reflecting on one's actions and making adjustments.

For example, if a child fails to build blocks, he will think, "I shouldn't have added that horizontal block just now, I'll try another way this time." ”

Children who don't know how to reflect may get angry, throw blocks on the ground in one go, lose their temper and leave.

Children who are reflective learn from their failures. He has a strong "resilience" in the face of setbacks.

On the road of growth, they will be able to become more and more courageous and continue to improve.

2. How to help children develop self-discipline?

The reason why many people are "not self-disciplined" is because they feel that "the task is too difficult and too difficult" and they can't do it themselves, so they give up when they encounter a challenge.

And if we want to help children develop self-discipline from an early age, then we must teach children to learn to "accomplish small goals", that is"Mission Decomposition Method"。

In this way, children can be helped to break down complex goals into small executable steps, which not only relieve stress, but also enhance the sense of control, so as to build self-discipline step by step.

So how do you do that?

(1) "Break down" the task

When a child is faced with a complex task, we can work with him to break down the goal into concrete small steps.

有一次侄子寫作文，被老師打回來，說“字數不達標”。布谷媽一看，800字的作文，他東拼西湊才湊了600。

The nephew said that he had a headache when he saw the composition, and he really didn't know how to write, and 600 words was already his limit.

Cuckoo's mother read his title, which was "Growth Plan", so she took him to break down the task:

●Step 1:List the general directions, such as where do you hope to grow?

The nephew wrote 4 points: sports, study, work and rest, life. Well, good, go ahead.

●Step 2:Summarize each point. For example, "exercise", what exercise plan do you want?

The nephew said that he wants to play badminton for half an hour every day, go out on Saturday for a half-day bike ride, and run 5 kilometers on Sunday.

Very good!

●Step 3:Write down each point more carefully, what thoughts, feelings, how to arrange reasonably, etc.

● Step 4: Finally, it is connected into a complete paragraph.

After breaking down the task, it looks simpler and the child finds it easier to complete. He will not have embarrassment and withdrawal, and he is willing to complete self-discipline.

(2) Develop a time plan

After the task is broken down, we can also plan the time for each small step with the child.

The child said that there was too much homework to finish at all. After we take the children to break down the tasks, we will arrange a period of time for each small step.

For example, we arrange half an hour for each part, and then take a break for 10 minutes to go to the toilet or move around.

This clear time allocation not only helps children focus, but also cultivates their awareness of time management.

(3) Give immediate feedback

Every time a child completes a small step, we should give timely encouragement and positive feedback to strengthen their sense of effort.

For example, when a child finishes the first part, we can say, "Wow, you did the first step very attentively, and Mommy really appreciates you!" ”

In the early stage of cultivating children's self-discipline, we should not be stingy with encouragement, and every progress he makes deserves to be recognized.

But remember, don't say "you're great", "you're amazing", "really well done" and other general compliments, you must praise the process rather than the result.

(4) Cultivate the habit of reflection

After each task is completed, we also need to guide the children to review and help them summarize the successful experiences or find areas for improvement.

Ask your child more questions:

"Which link do you think is the smoothest to complete the task this time?"

"Is there a step? , making you feel a little difficult? How do you adjust next time? ”

The process of reflection can enable children to develop a deeper understanding, so that they can gradually develop the habit of "active planning and adjustment".

Cultivating children's self-discipline is not achieved overnight, but through the accumulation of specific tasks and actions.

If we can help him break down goals, plan time, and complete tasks, he has the "core drive" of self-discipline.

In the future, whether it is facing his studies or life, he will be able to move towards success step by step.

How do you nurture self-discipline in your children? Let's share it together~

This content is a fictional short story, if there is any similarity, it is purely a coincidence, all characters, places and events are artistic processing, please read rationally, do not sit in the right seat